Loons Versus Pokeys and the Bumpeys

Please, invest a couple minutes in something underwhelming: I'm sure you've seen this floating around the Facebook and Twitter machines.

First off, when the leading thrust of your argument is that, "sure, there are now children suffering from unnecessary and dangerous ailments, but look at the terrible Oreos," you've exposed yourself. And when the culmination of your argument is, "yeah, since vaccinations started, child mortality rates have plummeted, and quality of life has skyrocketed, but, like, did you ever even ask what was in them?" you lose, boychik.

(An atheist comes out)

While we're talking about losing, I'd  like to pluck a direct quote, "In short, The Society Against Injecting Our Kids With Chemicals (TSAIOKWC for short) has a lot of followers." Surely there are more useless sentences to be constructed in the English language, but I can't imagine they would ever be deployed in effort to prove any provable point (especially by someone so proud of their Dr title.) And how is it that wackjobs and their organizations never understand acronyms? By the by, you know who else had "a lot of followers"? Hitler. That's right, god forbid an atheist call the Hitler-did-it argument to his defense, but that should be evidence enough to validate the impotence of the seminal argument.

Perhaps a bit on theatrics since there's no science or credible argument to attack? ALL CAPS RARELY PROVES ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT YOU ARE AN ANGRY LOON. The same is true for exclamation points! So why use them when trying to call other people angry loons?

And here's an observation about arguments in general- they require opposition. Who is arguing for fast food? Who is arguing for pollution? What about radiation or cocktails or (extra-marital?) affairs? No one. At that point, your attack becomes ad hominem. And that's unfortunate because it makes you stupid and lazy and ugly. And a hipster.

Unfortunately there are always people willing to listen to someone who claims authority strictly because said faux-authority thinks they know a thing (note the TCHAIKOVSKY group listed above.) This phenomenon wouldn't in itself be so bad if it didn't effect anything appreciable. Unfortunately, in this case, children are suffering.

Huh, maybe this post does belong on an atheist blog after all.


ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University.