Monday, April 6, 2015

Better Know A Bible Verse: Genesis 1:26

First up, a PSA: For those of you who read my blog, but have not yet made your way to The Abraham Effect I highly recommend you do so. Just make sure you come back too, yeah?

The first in a 31,240 part series, this edition of "Better Know a Bible Verse" will focus on Genesis 1:26. You needn't have your own Bible to follow along, but if you so choose, we'll be using the King James Version. This is predominantly for availability's sake, but as the Bible is the inerrant and unalterable word of god, the specific version doesn't matter too much.

Here we go!

26: And God said, Let us make man in out image, after
our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish
in the sea, over the fowl of the air, and over the           
cattle and over all the earth, and every creeping          
think that creepeth  upon the earth.                              

  1. Polytheism in the Bible: In the standard print edition of the King James Version, the author takes just 71 lines to remember that he is writing in an age of polytheism, so why not trigger up a bit of that groundswell of goodwill, yeah? The line also appears out of place with later entries in the Bible that reflect more deeply on the climate of the times, This is a reference to a triune god before the triune has been introduced. But it is also a reference, in it's power, to an ubergod, when later verses indicate this is the god of the Israelites and other 'ites have their own, totally legitimate, gods. That is, the god of the Israelites is, in later verses, simply the god of the Israelites and not the creator of allthings.
  2. God in the first person plural: The phrase "Let us make man" should be troubling to proponents of Abrahamic religions for more reasons than one (see what I did there?) There is also the matter that this was spoken before there was anyone to hear it. And only creepeths speak to themself(ves). Is your god a creepeth? This is not the first time in the Bible that god finds himself so allquoatable that he took a post-it for Abraham to stick into the biography later, but I'm not oppose to beating a dead horse, or scape goat, so I'll probably mention it every time.
  3. Sexist Language: Man is created in the image of god. Not woman. There's a reason we're so proud to carry these penis things around, they are a direct line to the creator of all things, who presumably is also capable of standing to pee. Does it snow in heaven?
  4. Damn you, Bumble Bee: "Fish of the sea" clearly does not include chicken, which is the tuna of the land.
  5. Notification of order: Fish, "fowl" of the air (not bats? [chikaka]), cattle (that's a big one up on the Hindus) "all the earth," (which presumably does not include the sea, but just the 'firmament'.) And all the creepers. But just how does one define creepething? It seems like a mixture of speed and intent to me. Spiders creep. Do goats? Cats? Dogs? 
  6. "man" and "let them": God is clearly already planning for man to multiply. Woman is still a ways a way. Adam hasn't been created, let alone made the mistake of asking for a Mrs yet. So, at this point, masturbation would not only be a must, but would hypothetically be fruitful. Or at this point, god was under the impression that Adam and Steve was going to be the way to go as there is a nomenclature shift when men and women are to be delineated. 
These are just the things that stick out to me in this particular 48 words of the Bible. What sticks out to you? What gives you the laugheths or the creepeths? Do you feel the full breadth of your rather limited domain? Do you enjoy Ace Ventura references as much as I do? Are you proud of me for getting through this whole post without one Phil Collins or Peter Gabriel reference? Did you feel one coming in the air tonight? Dammit....

ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University. 

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